*Le Sigh* It is Wednesday. I cannot say that my week hasn't actually been a bad one so far. I did find out that bankruptcy gives you a bit of reprieve from some bills for about two months. Which means that I have some extra money to finally replace my car. No use in fixing it because the gahtdamb transmission is going out.While I will miss Sexy Beast, it's time for her to retire. I need me a car that will get me from more than point A to B here in town. I've got places to go (Lawrence, Horton, and Kansas City), and people to see (my shark homies at the aquarium, a skunk, the friendly people at Trader Joe's, and my mom). So it looks like by the end of the month, I will be able to get that new-to-me car, and I'm so relieved. I'm so close!
I'm becoming a bit of a troll when it comes to online dating. Or facetious and ironic is probably a better term. Or an asshole. My profile is like this: "Stuff and things. Cliched favorite food. TV show everyone else likes. All the activities. I might be sarcastic. Probably.
Words to make me seem cool and appealing.
I'm an open book!
I'm looking for a relationship. Or whatever.
I dare you to catfish me."
It's a bit satirical. I'm basically bringing all the worst, cliched, unoriginal, and stupid bio sayings together, and making fun of them. It's what I do best sometimes.
This week's best interaction so far?
Me: *Reads dude's bio*
Dude's bio: "I do not sing in the shower just in case you were wondering."
Me: (Thinking) Well I wasn't, but thanks for the information. Now I have a good material to get this conversation going.
Me to Dude: "I put concerts on when I'm in the shower. Concerts."
Dude to Me: "Booty shorts or sweat pants?"
Me to Dude: (Thinking what in the actual fuck? How did we get here already?) "Leggings. The answer is always leggings."
Dude to Me: "I like leggings too so I'm down. Lol."
Me to Dude: "Lol, okay. So what's your plan here?"
Dude: *crickets*
How did we even get to booty shorts?
I'm not going to say that every guy is always thinking about sex. I will, however, say that the other party frequently tries to steer online interactions in that direction pretty quickly. Or what I think might be completely innocent, ice breaking, getting-to-know-them questions are dismissed in favor of more suggestive communication attempts by the other party. I've gotten used to not being able to have an actual, decent conversation with someone on the dating app. My expectations are pretty low right now. Because of that I've pretty much stopped taking things seriously. I've decided to use this as a case study of sorts, and for my own amusement.
Oh, and for trolling catfishers. Because, y'all, there are a lot of catfishers out there.
I will say that through this online dating exercise, I have really gained a lot of confidence. I know that I can make the first move. I know what I want, and the type of person I am looking for. I know how to weed out catfishers and people with bad intentions. I feel more liberated, and like I can conquer the fucking world. I'm not afraid of people with kinks, or things that others may find a little weird. I know way more about the furry world than I ever thought I would. So there's that.
Antyway, I am almost positive I will have another "best of" interaction before the end of the weekend. Because that's just the way this crazy-ass thing goes.
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