I am so incredibly glad that it is Friday! Although I do have to work tomorrow...at the Bridal Fair. I am not too sure about what to wear, well actually, I am not too sure that what I was going to wear, a red blouse and maybe a pair of jeans and boots will be appropriate. I mean I am not trying to steal someone's fiancée, and lose business for the park at the same time. There won't be many straight single guys there anyway. So maybe I SHOULD dress more in neutrals and not a dark red "look at me, I'm a fiancee stealer" blouse...hahaha. I am not skankin' (Carlee and Tuesday night group you will appreciate that! The word skankin I mean!) Being single and going to a bridal fair (for work!) is interesting.
I'm sure I will make lots of mental notes about some of the brides and their friends...how to be different, that is. See, I want simple wedding; short, sweet, unique (I have such a need to be unique and original), beautiful and inexpensive. But I am NOT one of those single women that have a dress, venue, colors, flowers, honeymoon destination, tuxedos etc. picked out. The kind of woman that is only looking for a stand-in man, any man will do, to make her dream wedding come to life. The type of woman who spends her whole single life putting all the components together for that one day, but does nothing to prepare for the shared-life thing of an actual marriage. Yeah, let me just say that kind of fantasizing will get you nowhere, believe me I am a fantasizer by nature! Maybe I am being a bit cynical, but you know, it's just ONE day. I know some people think that one day is the day that life really begins. But if that is the case what do you call the years when you were single? Pre-life? Were you dead before your wedding day?
Life for all of us starts at conception. Continues through to birth and continues through to our 12-18 years of schooling. After that it continues on into our 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 100s and if you belong to Jesus Christ, into eternity! SO tell me WHY lots of women have this fantasy about the wedding day being the beginning to the rest of their lives?! Did I miss something? Am I supposed to think like that too? Ummmm...no. I of all people should be thinking that way, after all, my INFP personality would almost excuse it. My personality type is labeled the idealist...enough said. But I am not like that with marriage and relationships; I like to think I have a good grasp on reality in the matters of weddings and marriage. Although how that came about I do not really know (actually I have worked very hard to not be too idealistic about relationships and marriage. A little bit is good, but too much is a catastrophe), it's not natural for me, that's for sure! What I am getting at is getting married is just a continuation of your life already, the one thing that's changed is now you have someone else to share your life with and vice-versa.
Marriages take work too. Unfortunately so many people in my age group (18-25) go into marriage thinking that it is going to be enough to just have that feeling of "love." It's not. A good strong marriage is so much more than having that feeling of love. It's respect, commitment, devotion, communication, compromise, trust, humility, appreciation, grace, forgiveness, and passion; having an attitude of love but not always the feeling. A good strong marriage starts with a rockin' bond, and an awesome foundation, which is Jesus Christ. In fact, the best marriage relationships between a man and a woman reflect the very relationship between us (the church, His bride) and Christ (the bridegroom).
I have to say that I wrote most of this earlier when I was on a roll, and not super tired! Sadly, when I saved it, it deleted some. But it was like the core of my blog which really sucks. So follow along as I try to get it back.
Now, for all of you that believe REAL life does not start until you find that relationship with the "one," well I am about to burst your bubble. What... are you in a play or something? Is life just practice until you find that "one" you are supposed to spend the rest of you life with? Life is life, your life is here and now, this is all you get as far as your time on earth goes. There aren't any do-overs, and it is most certainly NOT practice! Like I said, life started back when you were conceived. And every moment is so precious. Singleness is such a blessing, and more of us REALLY need to realize this and totally take advantage of it. Singleness is the only time in this life that we have to give our full undivided affection, devotion and attention to our Lord Jesus Christ. In 1 Corinthians 7:32b-35Paul says, " ...An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please Him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is now longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsiblities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible." So for a while, wouldn't it be better to be single? It's not like God is holding out on us who are single, He just has other things for us to do WHILE we are single.
I am single and except for one month a year and a half ago, I have been single my whole life. Not that I haven't had offers that would take me "off the market" for a time, but they would not have been God glorifying relationships. Do I struggle, with being single? Of course! Do I want to get married someday? Uh... YEAH! I want companionship, who doesn't we were made that way! But I know in God's timing it will happen. What scares me more than not ever getting married, is getting married to the wrong person, out of God's plan and timing. SO I am going to the Bridal Fair tomorrow with a smile on my face and Jesus in my heart. Enjoying my time being single because I know that I can have a deeper relationship with my Lord and do some pretty awesome things while I am single.
Hosea 2:19-20 "I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the LORD."
Relationships can, if they are built on a solid foundation, that is Jesus, be very rewarding, occasionally healing, encouraging, and life skills building. Relationships that don't work out can be this as well. There is so much for us all to learn in every relationship we have with someone.
What are you going to do during your single season? DON'T spend your time wallowing away waiting for "the one" to come along. More often than not, God sends Him along when you are participating in life, not sitting at home watching romantic comedy's or Pearl Harbor, or Titanic eating a pan of brownies with ice cream. Go volunteer somewhere, get involved at church. Join a Bible study. Travel with a group of friends even! Just get yourself out there and do something, get involved and play your part in this story that our wonderful Maker is weaving together, and has been since the beginning of time. Marriage is good. I hope you didn't get the idea that they are not from today's blog. They ARE good. God created marraige. He said it was good. But the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing. So wait on God. His timing is always right.
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