I am so incredibly glad that it is Friday! Although I do have to work tomorrow...at the Bridal Fair. I am not too sure about what to wear, well actually, I am not too sure that what I was going to wear, a red blouse and maybe a pair of jeans and boots will be appropriate. I mean I am not trying to steal someone's fiancée, and lose business for the park at the same time. There won't be many straight single guys there anyway. So maybe I SHOULD dress more in neutrals and not a dark red "look at me, I'm a fiancee stealer" blouse...hahaha. I am not skankin' (Carlee and Tuesday night group you will appreciate that! The word skankin I mean!) Being single and going to a bridal fair (for work!) is interesting.
I'm sure I will make lots of mental notes about some of the brides and their friends...how to be different, that is. See, I want simple wedding; short, sweet, unique (I have such a need to be unique and original), beautiful and inexpensive. But I am NOT one of those single women that have a dress, venue, colors, flowers, honeymoon destination, tuxedos etc. picked out. The kind of woman that is only looking for a stand-in man, any man will do, to make her dream wedding come to life. The type of woman who spends her whole single life putting all the components together for that one day, but does nothing to prepare for the shared-life thing of an actual marriage. Yeah, let me just say that kind of fantasizing will get you nowhere, believe me I am a fantasizer by nature! Maybe I am being a bit cynical, but you know, it's just ONE day. I know some people think that one day is the day that life really begins. But if that is the case what do you call the years when you were single? Pre-life? Were you dead before your wedding day?
Life for all of us starts at conception. Continues through to birth and continues through to our 12-18 years of schooling. After that it continues on into our 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 100s and if you belong to Jesus Christ, into eternity! SO tell me WHY lots of women have this fantasy about the wedding day being the beginning to the rest of their lives?! Did I miss something? Am I supposed to think like that too? Ummmm...no. I of all people should be thinking that way, after all, my INFP personality would almost excuse it. My personality type is labeled the idealist...enough said. But I am not like that with marriage and relationships; I like to think I have a good grasp on reality in the matters of weddings and marriage. Although how that came about I do not really know (actually I have worked very hard to not be too idealistic about relationships and marriage. A little bit is good, but too much is a catastrophe), it's not natural for me, that's for sure! What I am getting at is getting married is just a continuation of your life already, the one thing that's changed is now you have someone else to share your life with and vice-versa.
Marriages take work too. Unfortunately so many people in my age group (18-25) go into marriage thinking that it is going to be enough to just have that feeling of "love." It's not. A good strong marriage is so much more than having that feeling of love. It's respect, commitment, devotion, communication, compromise, trust, humility, appreciation, grace, forgiveness, and passion; having an attitude of love but not always the feeling. A good strong marriage starts with a rockin' bond, and an awesome foundation, which is Jesus Christ. In fact, the best marriage relationships between a man and a woman reflect the very relationship between us (the church, His bride) and Christ (the bridegroom).
I have to say that I wrote most of this earlier when I was on a roll, and not super tired! Sadly, when I saved it, it deleted some. But it was like the core of my blog which really sucks. So follow along as I try to get it back.
Now, for all of you that believe REAL life does not start until you find that relationship with the "one," well I am about to burst your bubble. What... are you in a play or something? Is life just practice until you find that "one" you are supposed to spend the rest of you life with? Life is life, your life is here and now, this is all you get as far as your time on earth goes. There aren't any do-overs, and it is most certainly NOT practice! Like I said, life started back when you were conceived. And every moment is so precious. Singleness is such a blessing, and more of us REALLY need to realize this and totally take advantage of it. Singleness is the only time in this life that we have to give our full undivided affection, devotion and attention to our Lord Jesus Christ. In 1 Corinthians 7:32b-35Paul says, " ...An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please Him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is now longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsiblities and how to please her husband. I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible." So for a while, wouldn't it be better to be single? It's not like God is holding out on us who are single, He just has other things for us to do WHILE we are single.
I am single and except for one month a year and a half ago, I have been single my whole life. Not that I haven't had offers that would take me "off the market" for a time, but they would not have been God glorifying relationships. Do I struggle, with being single? Of course! Do I want to get married someday? Uh... YEAH! I want companionship, who doesn't we were made that way! But I know in God's timing it will happen. What scares me more than not ever getting married, is getting married to the wrong person, out of God's plan and timing. SO I am going to the Bridal Fair tomorrow with a smile on my face and Jesus in my heart. Enjoying my time being single because I know that I can have a deeper relationship with my Lord and do some pretty awesome things while I am single.
Hosea 2:19-20 "I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the LORD."
Relationships can, if they are built on a solid foundation, that is Jesus, be very rewarding, occasionally healing, encouraging, and life skills building. Relationships that don't work out can be this as well. There is so much for us all to learn in every relationship we have with someone.
What are you going to do during your single season? DON'T spend your time wallowing away waiting for "the one" to come along. More often than not, God sends Him along when you are participating in life, not sitting at home watching romantic comedy's or Pearl Harbor, or Titanic eating a pan of brownies with ice cream. Go volunteer somewhere, get involved at church. Join a Bible study. Travel with a group of friends even! Just get yourself out there and do something, get involved and play your part in this story that our wonderful Maker is weaving together, and has been since the beginning of time. Marriage is good. I hope you didn't get the idea that they are not from today's blog. They ARE good. God created marraige. He said it was good. But the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing. So wait on God. His timing is always right.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Genesis!
Genesis means beginning for those of you who don't know... Lol. Hello! I am Deandra! I am new to blogspot, but not new to blogging. I am a writer, but have not been writing lately, so bear with me!
I have spent the last several years of my life trying to discern God's will for me. Trying to know what it is I am to do in this vast, wide and hurting world. I have yet to know for sure. I wonder sometimes... is it me that is holding myself back? Or am I just waiting to hear from God? Do I already know His good and perfect will or is it still to be revealed?
One thing I have come to know about this wonderful and awesome God I serve is His amazing love and what was accomplished for me, and you, at the cross! Jesus Christ died for my (and your) sins. He took all of our sin and shame and he took it and nailed it to the cross. He faced the scorn of His beloved Father, God. But He did it out of love. He did it because He loves us and wants us. He wants us. He wants us to spend eternity with Him. Learning, Praising, Walking with, Exploring with, Sharing in His awesome majesty and grace! Oh how wonderful would that be?!
I have caught a glimpse of His majesty... the ocean. OH the ocean. I live in Kansas, therefore, I am VERY landlocked. But this past summer I went to Florida and saw the Atlantic Ocean for the first time. I have never been the same. I am saddened every day because I cannot go there and stand on the beach and just feel so small and powerless. I cannot gaze upon the blue/green water of the Atlantic, feel the cream colored sand between my toes (and other crevices I didn't even know I had...lol). I long to taste the super saltiness of the water. Feel the burn on my skin. Oh, to sit by the ocean. Somehow seeing it, washes anyones troubles all away. I long for the Florida heat and humidity, letting my hair go because there is no possible way I could keep it flat-ironed into submission. I long for Florida. I found God's love in Florida, His majesty and power too. Every night I fall asleep and dream of the sunshine, the ocean, the water, the sea smell. EVERY NIGHT! I have come to the conclusion that I was meant to live and be by the ocean. Any ocean. Any salty, blue, warm, vast body of water. I count down the days until I am able to go back. I have started to look for jobs, and places to live down there actually.
I started out this last half of the year just in total awe of God and what He will do if you give Him the room to be God in your life. It started with Florida. An awesome week with my great church family. It continued in October with a concert from a dove award winning band called Pillar. They came to my church and put on a concert. We (the youth group kids and youth group sponsors) got to hang out with them all day. We helped them set up, fed them, listened and watched them rehearse and talked to them. It was so surreal and so incredibly cool. That concert changed my life. I went looking at them like rockstars, and left dissapointed because that "image" stayed with me until it was time for me to leave. And only after I had left did reality hit me: They are normal people and want to be treated and considered as much. Music is just their passion, ministry, and career. I NEEDED the chance to see them and talk to them as normal people again. My test came in the form of another series of concerts... Skillet, Decyfer Down, Hawk Nelson and The Letter Black... I saw them 2 times in 1 month (November). At the first concert I met the lead singer of Decyfer Down. The second concert... all of Hawk Nelson, and John Cooper from SKILLET!! That was SOOOOO amazing. I talked to them and regarded them as normal people too. Little did I know what else was in the works though... at the end of November, I made arrangements to record a song in December with the bass guitarist from Pillar, Rich (the bass player) and his brother Mike, as my producers. It was such an AMAZING experience!
On the third Friday in December, my best friend Carlee Gene went down to Tulsa with me to record "Time in Between" by Francesca Battitstelli. On our way down there we saw an armadillo in the median... which made me yell "Holy Hell an armadillo!" It was shocking; we were still in Kansas, and I surely was not expecting that. Also, they are known to jump up and collide your car's body, instead of rolling and thumping under the tires like most good animals do when getting hit. Needless to say, Carlee found this quite comical. We got to Tulsa and the realization of what I was about to do hit me! I was SO stoked! Our hotel... well, let's just say it was barely a 2 star; but it totally added to the novelty and fun of our little road trip. The following day I was SO nervous! We decided to spend $15 and go to the Oklahoma Aquarium. I was absolutely convinced that seeing things from water would calm and soothe me... it did. We saw jellies, bass, otters, a cayman, bull sharks (!!!), we got to pet bamboo sharks and rays ( IT WAS AWESOME!!) too. It was so soothing and after that I was ready for the recording studio.
At the studio we were greeted by the studio dogs Lil Mama and Auggy! They most def made us welcome. Lemme tell you, recording a song is not an easy thing to do. I was SO nervous. I was in a little makeshift cubicle with a microphone on a stand and a set of headphones. It was so REAL! It took me a while to relax into the song and studio surrondings; and to relax and sing the heck out of the song in front of strangers. But I did it. I did it! I felt the presence of God and realized what an awesome voice He has given me. I don't admit this to many people or very often, but I am blessed with it, and He has given me a voice to use, not to stifle, quiet and hide. He has given me a voice to be used FOR Him, to BLESS other people and SHARE with them His message of faith, hope, and love (Nate!). Anyway, so back to the studio. I sang through the song like 4 or 5 times. Then after singing through Mike and Rich directed and coached me through each line of the song... that is pretty hard to do, because your voice becomes a bit tired. But the instruction I got from them was priceless, I remember it everytime I sing now. I really broke a barrier between my chest voice and head voice down in Tulsa. I pushed and projected my chest voice out like I never have before. All I can say is that I know music ministry is definitely in my future. Perhaps, recording more songs too. I hope so!! The whole recording session took about an hour and a half or so. After I had sang the whole song line by line, Mike had to go through and edit and put the song on a disc. It took maybe 30-45 minutes. During that 45 minutes I got my moment to regard and talk to a "rockstar" like he was a normal person. I did it, I overcame that "rockstar" image. I felt like it was something vitally important to my own life. I felt like God wanted to tear down that image of "rockstardom" because I think one day, I might be in that very same position. Someday.
So the next day, Sunday, in Tulsa we went to LifeChurch.tv... it was completely cool! After that we headed to Muskogee, Ok to meet a friend of Carlee's from Alaska. He took us to a blues joint in a little town called Rentiesville (the t silent, so it is pronounced Reniesville) to listen to the blues. The first thing out of Joe's mouth to the owner, Selby... this girl just recorded a song and is thinking about singing tonight. OH MY GOSH! I was SHOCKED!!!!!! I DID NOT want to sing AT ALL. I had a shot voice and I was tired and wanted to listen to some music and then make the long trek (5 hours) back home. Haha, funny how what you want isn't always what happens. I did sing. I sang "Lean On Me" and it was awesome and so freeing. It is on the internet if anyone is interested in watching it!
That was truly a weekend to remember. I will never forget it. I had so much fun, my best friend is the best, and I love music and appreciate music artists even more!
Life is short and precious. I had to go to Tulsa.
Since then though, life has not been too pleasant or eventful. I hate the weather right now. I miss early summer SO much. The thunderstorms. The smell of rain and grass. The sun shining on everything. Sitting out and enjoying the warm nights, gazing up at the stars, listening to the crickets chirp, seeing lightning bugs flash all over, hearing the buzz of June bugs against. I miss the warm south wind blowing through my car windows as I cruise around town with my windows rolled down, and my radio cranked up loud for everyone to hear. I miss the long days, dusk being at 7:30. I miss the night storms, seeing the lightning spread across the sky and light the whole horizon. Hearing the rumbles of thunder and feeling them shake the house. Oh summer. I know you will return and chase this dreary, gloomy winter away. Life has been hard in this weather. I am having a hard time not packing my things and heading to Florida. But in God's timing. My friends and my mom make it bearable. And cooking.
So one more thing. I am starting a cooking challenge for myself... I am going to cook a different cuisine every month. This month is Italian and so far, it's been amazing!!
So until next time...
May the grace and peace of Jesus be with you and...
Saltwater ponds are most definitely possible.
I have spent the last several years of my life trying to discern God's will for me. Trying to know what it is I am to do in this vast, wide and hurting world. I have yet to know for sure. I wonder sometimes... is it me that is holding myself back? Or am I just waiting to hear from God? Do I already know His good and perfect will or is it still to be revealed?
One thing I have come to know about this wonderful and awesome God I serve is His amazing love and what was accomplished for me, and you, at the cross! Jesus Christ died for my (and your) sins. He took all of our sin and shame and he took it and nailed it to the cross. He faced the scorn of His beloved Father, God. But He did it out of love. He did it because He loves us and wants us. He wants us. He wants us to spend eternity with Him. Learning, Praising, Walking with, Exploring with, Sharing in His awesome majesty and grace! Oh how wonderful would that be?!
I have caught a glimpse of His majesty... the ocean. OH the ocean. I live in Kansas, therefore, I am VERY landlocked. But this past summer I went to Florida and saw the Atlantic Ocean for the first time. I have never been the same. I am saddened every day because I cannot go there and stand on the beach and just feel so small and powerless. I cannot gaze upon the blue/green water of the Atlantic, feel the cream colored sand between my toes (and other crevices I didn't even know I had...lol). I long to taste the super saltiness of the water. Feel the burn on my skin. Oh, to sit by the ocean. Somehow seeing it, washes anyones troubles all away. I long for the Florida heat and humidity, letting my hair go because there is no possible way I could keep it flat-ironed into submission. I long for Florida. I found God's love in Florida, His majesty and power too. Every night I fall asleep and dream of the sunshine, the ocean, the water, the sea smell. EVERY NIGHT! I have come to the conclusion that I was meant to live and be by the ocean. Any ocean. Any salty, blue, warm, vast body of water. I count down the days until I am able to go back. I have started to look for jobs, and places to live down there actually.
I started out this last half of the year just in total awe of God and what He will do if you give Him the room to be God in your life. It started with Florida. An awesome week with my great church family. It continued in October with a concert from a dove award winning band called Pillar. They came to my church and put on a concert. We (the youth group kids and youth group sponsors) got to hang out with them all day. We helped them set up, fed them, listened and watched them rehearse and talked to them. It was so surreal and so incredibly cool. That concert changed my life. I went looking at them like rockstars, and left dissapointed because that "image" stayed with me until it was time for me to leave. And only after I had left did reality hit me: They are normal people and want to be treated and considered as much. Music is just their passion, ministry, and career. I NEEDED the chance to see them and talk to them as normal people again. My test came in the form of another series of concerts... Skillet, Decyfer Down, Hawk Nelson and The Letter Black... I saw them 2 times in 1 month (November). At the first concert I met the lead singer of Decyfer Down. The second concert... all of Hawk Nelson, and John Cooper from SKILLET!! That was SOOOOO amazing. I talked to them and regarded them as normal people too. Little did I know what else was in the works though... at the end of November, I made arrangements to record a song in December with the bass guitarist from Pillar, Rich (the bass player) and his brother Mike, as my producers. It was such an AMAZING experience!
On the third Friday in December, my best friend Carlee Gene went down to Tulsa with me to record "Time in Between" by Francesca Battitstelli. On our way down there we saw an armadillo in the median... which made me yell "Holy Hell an armadillo!" It was shocking; we were still in Kansas, and I surely was not expecting that. Also, they are known to jump up and collide your car's body, instead of rolling and thumping under the tires like most good animals do when getting hit. Needless to say, Carlee found this quite comical. We got to Tulsa and the realization of what I was about to do hit me! I was SO stoked! Our hotel... well, let's just say it was barely a 2 star; but it totally added to the novelty and fun of our little road trip. The following day I was SO nervous! We decided to spend $15 and go to the Oklahoma Aquarium. I was absolutely convinced that seeing things from water would calm and soothe me... it did. We saw jellies, bass, otters, a cayman, bull sharks (!!!), we got to pet bamboo sharks and rays ( IT WAS AWESOME!!) too. It was so soothing and after that I was ready for the recording studio.
At the studio we were greeted by the studio dogs Lil Mama and Auggy! They most def made us welcome. Lemme tell you, recording a song is not an easy thing to do. I was SO nervous. I was in a little makeshift cubicle with a microphone on a stand and a set of headphones. It was so REAL! It took me a while to relax into the song and studio surrondings; and to relax and sing the heck out of the song in front of strangers. But I did it. I did it! I felt the presence of God and realized what an awesome voice He has given me. I don't admit this to many people or very often, but I am blessed with it, and He has given me a voice to use, not to stifle, quiet and hide. He has given me a voice to be used FOR Him, to BLESS other people and SHARE with them His message of faith, hope, and love (Nate!). Anyway, so back to the studio. I sang through the song like 4 or 5 times. Then after singing through Mike and Rich directed and coached me through each line of the song... that is pretty hard to do, because your voice becomes a bit tired. But the instruction I got from them was priceless, I remember it everytime I sing now. I really broke a barrier between my chest voice and head voice down in Tulsa. I pushed and projected my chest voice out like I never have before. All I can say is that I know music ministry is definitely in my future. Perhaps, recording more songs too. I hope so!! The whole recording session took about an hour and a half or so. After I had sang the whole song line by line, Mike had to go through and edit and put the song on a disc. It took maybe 30-45 minutes. During that 45 minutes I got my moment to regard and talk to a "rockstar" like he was a normal person. I did it, I overcame that "rockstar" image. I felt like it was something vitally important to my own life. I felt like God wanted to tear down that image of "rockstardom" because I think one day, I might be in that very same position. Someday.
So the next day, Sunday, in Tulsa we went to LifeChurch.tv... it was completely cool! After that we headed to Muskogee, Ok to meet a friend of Carlee's from Alaska. He took us to a blues joint in a little town called Rentiesville (the t silent, so it is pronounced Reniesville) to listen to the blues. The first thing out of Joe's mouth to the owner, Selby... this girl just recorded a song and is thinking about singing tonight. OH MY GOSH! I was SHOCKED!!!!!! I DID NOT want to sing AT ALL. I had a shot voice and I was tired and wanted to listen to some music and then make the long trek (5 hours) back home. Haha, funny how what you want isn't always what happens. I did sing. I sang "Lean On Me" and it was awesome and so freeing. It is on the internet if anyone is interested in watching it!
That was truly a weekend to remember. I will never forget it. I had so much fun, my best friend is the best, and I love music and appreciate music artists even more!
Life is short and precious. I had to go to Tulsa.
Since then though, life has not been too pleasant or eventful. I hate the weather right now. I miss early summer SO much. The thunderstorms. The smell of rain and grass. The sun shining on everything. Sitting out and enjoying the warm nights, gazing up at the stars, listening to the crickets chirp, seeing lightning bugs flash all over, hearing the buzz of June bugs against. I miss the warm south wind blowing through my car windows as I cruise around town with my windows rolled down, and my radio cranked up loud for everyone to hear. I miss the long days, dusk being at 7:30. I miss the night storms, seeing the lightning spread across the sky and light the whole horizon. Hearing the rumbles of thunder and feeling them shake the house. Oh summer. I know you will return and chase this dreary, gloomy winter away. Life has been hard in this weather. I am having a hard time not packing my things and heading to Florida. But in God's timing. My friends and my mom make it bearable. And cooking.
So one more thing. I am starting a cooking challenge for myself... I am going to cook a different cuisine every month. This month is Italian and so far, it's been amazing!!
So until next time...
May the grace and peace of Jesus be with you and...
Saltwater ponds are most definitely possible.
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